Who are you raising? Darlene Brooks - Mother and Author - En Vivo Associates

A Mother's Manual

Any opportunity to uplift and encourage Mothers, Fathers. Grandparents and Guardians is always welcomed. I have 4 children and there have many days that I just thought – WHO AM I RAISING? And I realized a long time ago, that will greatly depend on me.

Every one of us is born with a unique gift, ability or talent. When we give birth to a child, or a child is placed in our care, it is our assignment to identify those gifts and talents. And with the children we are responsible for, it is up to us to teach them, nurture them and grow our children into being the best they can be. We are basically molding someone from scratch. We have to fulfill that duty so carefully. To me It is a sacred honor. I chose to have children. Most women choose to give birth. I believe children are a precious gift that are assigned to us. They should always be treated as such. Protect the children as you would any precious gift because later your care will manifest into who they become as they grow up. When they are born you literally have no idea who they will become but just as when you build something, you should have a vision and a plan for the outcome.

    Do you have the right tools?
    Do you have enough resources available to do the job well?
    Can you withstand the many storms that will likely come? Do you have sufficient help when you need it?

These are some of the questions we should ponder as new parents and along the way as we go.

The Prophet Mohammed was an orphan. His father died 6 months before he was born and his mother died when he was only 2 years old. Even Mohammed himself did not know he would be The Prophet until he was 40 years old. Just as Jesus’ disciples came to understand whom they followed, Mary came to realize day by day, revelation by revelation, that she had indeed given birth to the Son of the living God. Venus and Serena Williams’ father wrote a 78 page document about his plan to teach his daughters tennis BEFORE they were born.

I honestly believe that everything my children become is mostly because of what I teach them, how I nurture them and how I love and encourage them. They have achieved many great things already at ages 27, 21, 20 and 18 now and I still do everything I can to ensure they are well and do well. I have always instilled in them a sense of purpose and greatness. That is my job as their Mother. It is the most exciting thing for me to watch them grow.

Parenting is hardly ever easy. First, we must equip ourselves to be able to handle such a great task. Raising children is demanding. Being a Mother is the hardest job that exists. I used to be a flight attendant. We had to instruct passengers with children that in case of an emergency they must “put on your own oxygen mask first!” Because if the parent is not okay, they cannot help their child. The same thing is true in raising your children. Look at yourself daily, honestly and make corrections along the way. I tell my students in parenting classes the best tools they need are, of course, my book A Mother’s Manual and most importantly, the mirror. Look carefully into that mirror and see what your children will emulate, see their role model – truthfully. Because trust and believe they will do what you do. It is not easy to fix ourselves but it is absolutely necessary if you really want to raise healthy, happy, productive children. I even encourage them to listen to what their children have to say about them. Sometimes children know us better than we think. It is never too late to go back and do some things differently. And do it better.

People have often asked me how did I raise such successful kids. There is no secret. If you love your children and nurture them properly and wholly (not just food, clothing and shelter) and you instill in them great self-esteem – they will be successful at whatever they do. It is just that simple. You have the power to raise world leaders, change-makers, healers, even prophets – just in the way you choose to parent. We, as parents, can make the world a better place.

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