Child Abuse: Denying a Child Right - Dr. Ivy Bonk - Life Coach - Interview - En Vivo Associates
Denying a Child Their Human Right to Identity
My name is Dr. Ivy Bonk. I am an Educational Psychologist/Consultant at IMAGINAL Education Group working with systems and governments to bring solutions so that children have a better tomorrow. We also design and develop resources and training to support professionals working in these systems to be successful. Our flagship initiatives are our The Day Trauma Came to Class professional development for educators and our soon-to-launch Before the Clock Strikes 8 Advocacy Campaign.
In addition, to IMAGINAL, I am the originator of a global effort called Children Add Value. In that effort, I work in support of other global initiatives bringing the message value a child, grow a nation. I am closely aligned with Dr. Jenny Lopez, a former guest on the show, and her initiative Women Add Value. In this strategic alignment and partnership, we share with women that one of the greatest ways they can express value is through the nurturing and care of their children.
My work was born out of my experience of being sexually abused by my uncle in childhood and the events that followed that only served to exacerbate and compound the impact of the original offense. You see, the impact of trauma is as individualistic as the person it is preyed upon. What happened, when it happened, how it happened, by whom it happened, what you believed about what happened, all play a part in how it influences someone.
I look at our lives as stories written before time began, before the foundations of the world. It is a story that only we can tell, no one else can tell our story. When trauma in childhood occurs, not being able to understand or articulate what is going on – and unless they have someone there that acknowledges, validates, and helps them process the event – children begin to grow in the direction of the wound, away from God’s original purpose.
When we read about the human rights of children, we read about a child’s Right to Identity. In the context of the resolution, Right to Identity means that you have a legal document verifying your physical existence. However, in the context of maltreatment in childhood, the trauma creates a breach that has the effect of separating from your true self, you could say your identity. Your existence becomes about mitigating and coping with all the maladaptive emotions and behaviors and cognitive interruptions that can occur as a result of trauma. The feelings of fear, shame, and unworthiness puts you on constant lookout, controlling and self-protecting from any perceived threat.
A reference in the Bible found in Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our heart because out of it flows all of life. Heart in this Scripture means mind and intellect. The enemy knows this verse as well that is why he comes early in the form of childhood trauma and neglect. Trauma in childhood creates a breach in your personhood. It has the effect of robbing you of the experience of NOW. When this happens three (3) critical attributes are lost: LOST SUPPORT, LOST SCRIPT, and LOST SENSE OF SELF.
The attachments needed with caring adults become detached or insecure causing distrust and feelings of fear.
When trauma occurs in childhood, the insecure attachment opens the door for skewing life’s script, children are unable to put life in context.
Lost Sense of Self
The understanding of oneself needed to take an active role in thinking is often misplaced. Not only are they unable to make sense of the world around them, but they do not have the first idea where to begin to find their place in it.